I wish life had little blips of pornography
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
