he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
