no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
