Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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