i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
