I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
