Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
