I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
