do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
