this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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