I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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