whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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