I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
