So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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