Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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