You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
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