Swine flu is the new snow day.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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