The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
