You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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