We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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