I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
