please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
