My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
