guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
