I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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