my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
