4 words: hood of his car
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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