hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
