please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
