i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
