okay pat passed out under dana's car
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
