His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
