Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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