I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
