i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
