so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
