Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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