Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
