i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
