But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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