remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
