I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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