Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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