i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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