My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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