how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dick very happy bro
My vagina is very pro this idea
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