ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
