please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
