I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
