I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
