I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
