we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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