marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
