11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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