We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
