Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
