Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize