I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
