SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm at about main and main street
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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