you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
