He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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