Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
