Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
