you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
