I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
